9:10 AM
To our loyal customers:
Unfortunately, it appears that you can't make any more progress in this game because a bunch of so-called enemies have got it into their heads to make demands far in excess of what's reasonable.
Hopefully this little round of union-busting we have planned will clear this mess up and you, the loyal paying customers, can finally finish the game.
Yeah! It's about time someone put those lazy freeloaders in their place.
They're just honest workers looking to improve their station in life.
8:56 AM
Lance, what's this I hear about you fighting a dragon? You better be wearing armor for that.
That's enough, lady. Lance isn't interested in your advice on armor, so just stop posting.
Lance, I'm really sorry Pellencoh Enterprises still hasn't implemented a way to unfollow friends yet.
8:49 AM
Everyone, this is Sam from the R.O.N.S. lair. I've been asked by the boss to let everyone know: it's on, as of 9:00 AM. You all know what to do.
(And of course Pellencoh Enterprises doesn't give out individual accounts to enemies, not even enemies that have names given in the game. That why I'm posting this from the collective enemy account.
It's just as well, though: we can coordinate here without identifying ourselves, which no one is required to do, but you can do so if you want. But please keep it to generalities and don't give anything away.) --Sam
Oh cool! I'll be there for sure. Does, uh, anyone know the breakdown of how many enemies of each type will be showing up. Just curious. --Lenny
What the hell is going on?
This is Ralph.
It's about time.
Lenny, I think it's pretty much whoever shows up. --Blarg
We have been closely following the situation. My husband and I will be there. --Jane
Wish I could join you all, but I'm an essential service. :(
I will be there! And we're happy to have your support, Jane. --Esmeralda Beauty McKinnison
8:44 AM
Lance, sorry to post against so soon, I just wanted to clear up something. The armor I was talking about a few minutes ago that makes you impervious is not the Steel Bikini. (Which I still hope you're wearing.)
I know the item description in my store says the Steel Bikini makes you "nigh impervious" but that's just typical copy.
But there is a different armor item I don't sell that does make you impervious. At least that's the rumor in the trade. I hope you find it, whatever it is.
Okay, I'll be quiet now, just wanted to clear that up.
8:42 AM
Lance, I know you have a Sidekick Fairy but if you ever wanted a second opinion on what armor you are wearing, I am here. I just wanted you know that because I was afraid you might not be aware I'm happy to be a second opinion, too.
All right, I'll shut up now.
8:33 AM
Lance, this is Lady Maral. It's nothing to worry about at the moment, but I wanted you to know that the Foreign Office just received some intelligence about the Ricohedron that connects it to the Princess Carmeana's kidnapping. We don't know much, but we have confirmed the Ricohedron went through the hands of a crime syndicate based in Ethostoia. This is a big development, and means at some point you'll likely have to infiltrate that syndicate as part of your Glorious Quest™. This is just a heads up.
Obviously, please don't tell anyone about this. As Head of the Foreign Office I have some privileges on MyFief.com that other people don't have, and I was able to make this post priviate so that only you can read it.
Wow! How can I get that feature?
8:32 AM
Hoo wee. We got a record yield of wool today!
Got a young feller from Borrington to thank. Kid grew up a farmer but damn it if he didn't manage to wrangle ten whole sheep into the Shearin' Pit.
The lesson here is: there is always hope, even for farmers.
8:30 AM
Lance, I know I'm not supposed to post so much, but I just found out there's a kind of armor in this game that makes you nearly impervious, you'd never be cold again. I just wanted to post this just in case you didn't know.
8:29 AM
Lance, please wear your armor. I know you're not the most armor-oriented hero out there, but wear some just to humor me.
Ma'am, I am Lance's Sidekick fairy. I am watching him. You don't need to post this every few minutes.
Well I'm just concerned he's not wearing enough armor, it can get very cold out there.
I am with him almost all the time, I can see what enemies he's facing. I am more qualified to decide if he needs armor than you. Now please stop posting.
All right. You better watch over him you hussy, if I hear something happened to him because he wasn't wearing enough cozy armor....
8:22 AM
Lance, if you don't have enough armor there is plenty in my shop, That's Armore. Just come on in and I'll set you up nice and warm.
8:15 AM
Baron of Chingaim implicated on charges of Treason. Currently awaiting transportation to Bowtudgel City.
8:13 AM
Andria had a dream last night.
All the furniture at her party started dancing!
The furniture rose into air and started diving and swooping. And Andria rode the furniture and they dived and swooped and Andria laughed and laughed.
Ohh.. Andria wants to ride the furniture so badly, forever end ever...
8:00 AM
New gig! Much better than the old one, we get to be inside.
Yeah, the new boss is swell, too. Much better to work for someone with an incarnate body.
Just, we don't want you to come here if you can warp into the room.
Yeah, because we can't stop you if you can warp into the room.
7:35 AM
My hominine friend, here is a story from the Tawsairy Morning Post with some paragraphs about you.
Princess kidnapped; King sends hero set out to Rescue the Princess™
This morning, King Telcar announced to a stunned kingdom that Princess Carmeana ...
7:30 AM
Hello, this is Lady Tealcap, Princess Carmeana's lady-in-waiting, speaking as Her Highness's top representative.
There have been a lot of questions surrounding the kidnapping, and why we concealed this fact for three days. The short answer is, there was concern that revealing what we knew of the kidnapping could jeopardize the investigation by the Foreign Office. At the moment, I cannot say anything more.
I can confirm that we have had limited communication with Her Highness, and are satisfied that she is, at the moment, safe.
Later today we will have a press conference to share more information, including an update on the progress of the Glorious Hero™.
7:27 AM
hAVe u evr noticed that the street tHEY call broad Way in ur city isnt any braoder than any Othre strete in the citee?.
7:20 AM
▪ Sponsored Content
Alchemy researcher shares new recipe to concoct the thirst-quenching elixir Level 3 Electrolytesportsdrink.
7:14 AM
Many people in town have expressed concern about an out-of-town developer repurposing one of our unused barns as something too exciting for a goodly hardworking town like Borrington. As councilmember, I believe nothing about the new development goes against our values as a town, which is why I plan to vote to approve it.
If you're for it, Mr. Jacob, that that's good enough for me!
7:04 AM
This slow ass turtle is pretty annoying. You'd think maybe it would do something like turn off the road, then I'd be able to make it to Bowtudgel City without passing it, but nooooo.
7:02 AM
Just got to work. Another exciting day in the info booth LOL.
J/K it's actually fun to meet all the interesting people even if the pay is kinda lousy. Who knows, today I could meet the man of my dreams!
6:57 AM
OMG this is soo cool: I was being chased by some dumb guy who was trying to sell me a bad investment. This human named Lance rescued me and I tagged along and we ran around his boring home town, and then he got tapped to rescue the crown princess! Because of me! We're on a real quest! WOW WOW WOW! So this'll be my last post for awhile LOL
6:57 AM
Another fine day tending my garden.
Here's a picture of what my garden looks like today. Doesn't it look lovely?
▢
6:45 AM
Press conference scheduled for 7:00 AM. New information about Princess Carmeana and her illness.
6:35 AM
▪ Sponsored Content
End of the world as we know it?
Could this be it? Read the shocking Imperial Times expose on why the theft of the Ricohedron could presage the end of the world!
6:30 AM
▪ Sponsored Content
I'm hosting a party for all the beautiful antique furniture at my house in Bowtudgel City! We'll have so much fun forever and ever and ever. Rowena & Company furniture only.
(Also, seeking a chauffer to help furniture get here. Apply in person.)
6:27 AM
Another day is here and still in the wrong spot on the wall...
We don't care, Lion.
Is there a way to unfollow Lion? It's bad enough I'm stuck with him in real life but I don't even have the escape of my MyFief app?
6:15 AM
Aw man. I'm on the road to Bowtudgel City to talk with the King over some kind of sponsorship deal, but there's a problem and I don't think I'm going to make it. Sounded like a good deal, too. Bummer.
6:00 AM
▪ Sponsored Content
Just finished a new crazy invention! Come by the Great Mead Hall to see it!
I always look forward to your inventions, Mrs. Perry!
5:58 AM
Dear Lance,
Pellencoh Enterprises Inc. would like to thank you for partnering with Tabitha, one of our talented Sidekick Fairies. We hope you will find her service satisfactory. Like all fairies in our Sidekick service, Tabitha is available at no cost to you; our revenues come from sales through our service.
Our service comes with a free one-month subscription to the Tawsiary Morning Post, as well as complimentary articles from other newspapers and magazines from around the world.
5:07 AM
▪ Sponsored Content
Princess Carmeana Cancels More Appearances
Lady Tealcap, the lady-in-waiting for Princess Carmeana, announced early today....