Oracle Of The Night

Chapter Six: The Low Road

In which the Green Pixie advises Philomena to consult the Oracle of the Night, upon which Philomena departs the Mango Glade, setting off upon the Low Road, whence she befriends the Mawless Shark and the Scaleless Dragon.

After a while, when Philomena felt that her blush had subsided a bit, she again looked up at The Green Pixie, who continued to smile radiantly at her. Philomena knew that she had only accidentally freed the Mango Glade from The Blue Pixie, but she also felt that the good will of the Green Pixie and the Cashuans was absolutely necessary if she were to find the Panacaea, as she was now lost and without supplies. She decided she would take credit for it, modestly.

"I am afraid it is mostly happenstance," she announced, turning her gaze over the sea of happy Cashuan faces. "I only came to this area unwittingly, from a far-away land, and found myself in a position where I could act to put an end to the tyranny of the Blue Pixie, and I did so." She shrugged. "I am happy I could do what I could.

"However, I find myself at a loss of what to do next. I am in search of the Panacaea, and while embarking on my search I found myself transported suddenly and unexpectedly here." Philomena looked back to the Green Pixie.

The Green Pixie titled her head to her side.

"You should consider yourself very fortunate, then," the Green Pixie said. (Philomena did, though she knew that her having escaped here wasn't entirely due to good fortune.) "In this land there exists one who can help you find the Panacaea. You must consult Oracle of the Night."

"The Oracle of the Night?" asked Philomena, with some surprise.

"Yes," the Green Pixie said majestically. "The Oracle of the Night, who lives in the Great Stone Temple, which is not far from here, only a day's walk along the Low Road. The Oracle will be able to tell you how to find the Panacaea."

Philomena looked at the Pixie skeptically. She was expecting a different name; this Oracle must be someone further down the hierarchy. Also, she noticed that the Pixie did not say that the Oracle would tell her, only that it was able.

The Green Pixie, perhaps sensing her distrust, continued, "But you must realize that it is not an easy thing to reach the Panacaea, and even less so to obtain a boon. Seeking the Oracle is only the first step on a long journey."

Philomena smiled and said, "This I am aware of, good Pixie. I would very much like to be off to see the Oracle right away." Lacking a better option, the Oracle would have to do.

The Green Pixie flew toward the Cashuans and announced, "Our heroine Philomena wishes to travel to visit the Oracle of the Night along the Low Road; please make way!" The Cashuans eagerly moved off to the side of the road they were standing on, which was the Low Road as it turns out, the major highway passing through the Mango Glade. Philomena smiled nervously and made her way down to the road and off in the direction the Green Pixie indicated, as Cashuans serenaded her with applause. As Philomena walked out of the glade she managed to not roll her eyes more than slightly.

Philomena relaxed considerably once the Mango Glade was well behind her. With everything that happened since she was transported to this land, she hadn't had any time to think and reassess the situation. But the road was peaceful, pretty to look at, and easy to walk, and that put her into a somewhat serene state of mind. She could see why it was called the Low Road: the road passed through low coastal marshlands. Fortunately it was well-maintained and dry.

She had lost almost all her supplies in the warp. (They may have made it to correct destination, or disintegrated, or gone elsewhere. She didn't know.) She still had her clothes, a few items that were in her pockets (a purse with some cash that wouldn't be helpful here, her Numloxian ID, and her phaser), and, thankfully, her eyeglasses. She also had a sack of mangoes a Cashuan had helpfully given her shortly outside of town. And finally, she still had the same sweat and grime she had when she entered the warp.

Eventually, the road came up alongside the sea, and Philomena decided she no longer wanted to carry around the sweat and grime. She headed across the beach, set aside her shoes and phaser, disrobed, and waded into the water. After spending a relaxing ten minutes chilling in the water, she began to wade her way back when she was attacked from beneath the surface.

Two minutes later she was standing in the surf, gripping a struggling fish about the size of her leg. The fish finally gave up struggling and sagged in her grip. Philomena dropped it in the shallow water and screamed, "What are you doing, fish?"

The fish inflated its gills a bit and said, "I'm sorry. I'm a sand shark, and I'm really, really hungry. But I can't eat anything! I don't have a maw. I'm a NO-MAW SHARK. That's ZERO SHARK MAW. NO MAW OF SHARK here. I used to have a maw, but one day, not long ago, the Yellow Pixie came and cursed me. Now I have no maw, and cannot eat my usual shark-like diet. But sometimes I lose my mind and try. I'm so sorry."

Philomena sighed. So that's why it wasn't able to clamp onto her leg. She was quite familiar with the desperation of hunger, though. She'd been there, once. The Mawless Shark wouldn't have attacked her if it had its maw. Philomena looked at it with pity.

"That's okay, I forgive you. I'm in a predicament, myself, and I have reason to believe that it was caused by the very same Yellow Pixie that cursed you. I'm on my way to visit the Oracle of the Night, who may be able to help me. Maybe the Oracle can help you too? Why don't you tag along?"

"Really?" said the Mawless Shark. "Gosh, I'd love a chance to get my maw back, and if anyone can help me do it, the Oracle can. Let's go off to see the Oracle!"

Not long after that, Philomena and the Shark were easing down the Low Road, together. They made decent time, finally reaching the beginnings of the more hilly terrain where the Stone Temple lied, but they realized that they would not make it to the Temple before sundown. So they set up camp for the night.

Sitting around a fire, they shared their stories. The Mawless Shark gently gummed some soft HerboMeat™ that Philomena had traded a few mangoes for while passing through a small town. Philomena was close to sleeping when she was startled awake by an odd vibrating sensation; she realized it was her phaser spooling up.

Most likely the phaser was reacting to something watching them (it was programmed to spool up whenever there was potential danger). Philomena removed it from her pocket and checked the touchscreen; sure enough, there was something watching her not far from the campsite. Cautiously she walked in the direction the phaser indicated, but it was too far from the fire to see anything. She began to back away, and started to think about moving camp.

"Oh, hello there!" said a grandfatherly voice. Philomena jumped in surprise, and pointed but didn't fire the phaser in the direction of the voice. "I didn't think you knew I was here," the voice said.

"Who are you?" Philomena called out.

"I am a dragon. Excuse me, let me put on a few lights. I forget that not all species have my night vision." Philomena saw a few tongues of fire in quick succession, and then several bright lanterns flared up, revealing a spacious patio. Reclining in a chair on the patio and reading an electronic tablet was a dragon, which Philomena estimated was three meters long. "Welcome to my house," said the dragon. Philomena saw that there was a large house made of stone masonry behind the patio.

Before she could reply, she heard the Mawless Shark say, "Hello! That's really nice house."

"Well, thank you kind shark," said the dragon. "I'm quite proud of it. Especially seeing as I don't get out much these days."

There was an awkward pause. Finally, Philomena, not knowing what else to say (that she didn't think would offend the dragon), just asked, "Why don't you get out much?"

"Well, it's a little embarrassing to admit this but I have NO SCALES. ZERO DRAGON SCALES. NO SCALE OF DRAGON here. And, they say it's not something you should worry about, but I just don't feel like a dragon if I don't have scales. So I've just been staying in and reading mostly."

Another pause. Finally Philomena asked, "Do you mind if I ask what happened to your scales?"

"Not at all," replied the Scaleless Dragon. "It just seems to be a case of early-onset dragon baldness. I'm no tadpole salamander, but at my age I should still have scales. I've been to several doctors but they can't explain it. I guess it's just something that happens to a percentage of dragons."

Philomena was suddenly very glad she hadn't fired the phaser. A phaser would hardly even scratch a typical dragon, but she wasn't sure what it would do to a dragon with no scales. Probably it still would do nothing more than sting, but better not to have risked it.

The Mawless Shark finally chimed in again. "Hey, just a thought, but maybe you've been cursed."

"What?" said the Dragon.

"Yeah, there's this Yellow Pixie that's going around cursing people. She cursed me to live without a maw. Philomena here thinks the Yellow Pixie diverted her through an aetherial warp and stole her supplies. Maybe she got you, too."

"You know, that would explain a few things." The Scaleless Dragon thought pensively for a moment. "All right," he said finally, "I've decided I will go off with you two to see the Oracle of the Night. It would be shameless vanity to petition the Oracle for my scales back if it were a result of natural scale loss, but if it's a curse...."

Philomena nervously adjusted her eyeglasses, wondering what had just happened, how the dragon knew they were intending to visit the Oracle of the Night, and how the conversation had got to this point.

"It's getting late though," the Scaleless Dragon said, interrupting her thoughts. "Instead of camping outside, why don't you two come in and sleep in the guest room? It has fireproofed sheets! I know you two don't care about that, but they are damn expensive and I feel a little compelled to brag."

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl in a village with her mother. The girl had a bright red hooded cloak she liked to wear when she was out and about, and so she became known as Little Red Riding Hood.

One day, her mother said to her, "I have just made some bread. Please go visit your grandmother, and take some loaves with you."

And so Little Red Riding Hood set off to visit her grandmother, who lived in a cottage in the woods.

As she was walking, a Wolf spied her through the trees. The Wolf was very hungry, and would have eaten her on the spot, if not for the woodsmen who were cutting trees nearby.

Instead, the Wolf approached the girl and asked her where she was going.

Little Red Riding Hood, who did not know it was dangerous to talk to a wolf, replied, "I am going to take bread to my grandmother, who lives in a cottage in these woods. The cottage can be found along this trail, if you take a right where the trail forks, and then a left where it forks again. The cottage will be on your left. You can't miss it."

The Wolf said goodbye, and then ran off as fast as he could down the trail, taking the route Little Red Riding Hood described. He soon arrived at the grandmother's cottage, and knocked on the door. He heard the grandmother shout, "Who is it?"

"It's Little Red Riding Hood!" replied the wolf, mimicking the girl's voice. "I have brought you loaves of bread."

The grandmother opened the door, and the Wolf immediately attacked and devoured her. But he was still hungry. Knowing that Little Red Riding Hood was coming to visit, he put on the grandmother's night clothes and crawled into her bed.

Some time later, Little Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage and knocked on the door. "Come in, dear," said the Wolf. "I am in bed for I was tired."

Little Red Riding Hood went into the cottage and over to her grandmother's bed. "I have brought bread," she said.

"Thank you, my dear," the wolf said in reply. As the Wolf spoke, the girl suddenly noticed how large and fierce her grandmother was.

"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood.

"The better to see you with, my dear," said the Wolf.

"Grandmother, what big ears you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood.

"The better to hear you with, my dear," said the Wolf.

"Grandmother, what big teeth you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood.

"I'm sorry," replied the Wolf, "I didn't catch that."

"I said," cried Little Red Riding Hood, louder, "What big teeth you have, grandmother!"

"I still can't hear you, dear, please speak up," said the Wolf again.

Frustrated, Little Red Riding Hood shouted, "What big teeth you have, grandmother!"

The Wolf just said, "I'm sorry, dear, I just can't make out what you're saying."

"Goddamnit grandmother, what's the point of having those huge ears if you can't hear me when I'm shouting!" she exclaimed.

"Dear, I am not as young as I used to be," said the Wolf demurely.

"WHAT. BIG. TEETH. YOU. HAVE. GRANDMOTHER." Little Red Riding Hood screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Oh!" said the Wolf, finally, "The better to eat you with!" And the wolf attacked and devoured Little Red Riding Hood.

Moral: Little girls shouldn't talk to wolves. Subtext left as an exercise.